I’m off to Tom Waits on Friday. Great. My ticket purchases and my attendance at the show are subject to some pretty stringent anti-touting measures.
- Tickets strictly limited to two(2) per person.
- Ensure that the credit card used to purchase tickets belongs to the person who is attending the show.
- On entry all patrons MUST present a valid I.D. (Passport or Driving Licence) matching name on the ticket(s) in order to gain entry. Failure to provide matching valid I.D will result in you not gaining access to the event.
- If you purchase 2 tickets, both patrons must be present at time of entry. All tickets will be scanned for validation on entry.
- Any tickets resold will be refused entry. No resale allowed under any circumstances.
- Only tickets purchased from official Ticketmaster outlets will be valid.
- Tickets are non-transferable.
- Tickets will not be dispatched until 2 weeks before the event.
Now, I believe that these measures were insisted upon by Tom’s management and there’s not much that can make me unhappy when I’m going to get to see Tom Waits at the end of it. Why, therefore, am I calling Ticketmaster an Awful Bastard? Well, it seems that Ticketmaster are extremely pleased that this measure seemed to ‘work’ last night and are therefore considering implementing it for future events. Brilliant, just brilliant.
I would like to see some information on how much of a problem touting really is. Ticket purchases are limited anyway so how many legitimate tickets go to touts? Some information regarding how many tickets go to touts versus how many tickets Ticketmaster hold back for corporate or VIP use/sale would be nice. I’d like to see some information that provides a proper reason to inconvenience legitimate concert-goers through these anti-touting measures.
Ticketmaster’s anti-touting drive is made all the more ironic and annoying by the fact that their site now offers an ‘auction’ for tickets to shows. Didn’t manage to buy a ticket at face value? No problem, just go and bid a ridiculous amount through Ticketmaster themselves. Ticketmaster are effectively touting their own tickets. What a shower of hard-necked bastards.
For inconveniencing real people to prevent 3rd party touts from cutting into Ticketmaster’s own touting, Ticketmaster are Awful Bastards.
Despite having had to wade through a ream of offers and licensing requests for my previous invention, the Tubet, I am willing to share another.
As I wander around, I am sometimes distressed by those poor souls, huddled in doorways with a lighter and a makeshift, Coke-can crack-pipe. I think you’ll agree that it’s troubling and more than a little depressing. Inspired to do something to better this situation, I happened upon a simple solution:
The Crackmonica
It’s a crack-pipe with a built in harmonica. In this way, the user can play a cheery tune as he or she gets off his or her face. Granted, draw notes would be more in evidence than blow notes, but a tune could still be managed.
And, with the addition of an upturned hat (not included) on the ground, the Crackmonica player can earn some busking money for later fixes.
Sweet Jesus, this month is dragging. My last month of work, you see. Working my notice, counting the days, hours, minutes to the 31st of July. Then it’s over. The nightmare that has been my time with my current employer will be at an end. Perhaps when I’m out of legal range, I’ll regale you with more detailed tales of work-woe. Perhaps not though - you’re not interested and I’d rather forget the wasted years.
So then, at the end of the month, I’ll be gone and a big chunk of virtual-cash will be transferred to my bank account. I’ve given some thought to my options:
- Get another job immediately and invest the cash wisely.
- Blow it all on sweets and bubblegum.
- Buy a motorcycle and travel around the country helping people. Sort of like a two-wheeled Littlest Hobo.
- Eke out a frugal existence and stretch the money as much as possible while desperately trying to think of ways, legal or otherwise, of earning a steady income without having to do the rat-race thing. A bit like Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall but with less offal and fewer book and television deals.
Obviously 1 is right out. Ditto, 2. Number 3 has a certain attraction so I’m not ruling it out completely. Number 4 however is the main contender at this stage.
As you can imagine, this decision finds Mrs. Jimmy Page’s Trousers beside herself with joy as well as fully behind me - sort of a co-location, happy/support thing.
Dear god. While flicking through the channels, I just found Celine Dion singing, in thigh-high boots, a cover of George Harrison’s ‘Something’, as Joe Walsh plays guitar.
So many things wrong. So many things
Still though, thigh-high boots…
How truly beautiful is this film? Just found it again, showing on one of the C/E/More 4’s. There are not enough good things to say about it. I believe there are those that dislike the film. I can only assume they are morons.
How truly beautiful is Audrey Tautou as Amélie? All innocence and prurient purity (yes, I’m a bit pissed again - big deal). All immense, inky eyes and slightly dodgy bob. She’s very talented too. Not quite sure why she got involved with the arse-stained wet-wipe that was The da Vinci Code. I can only guess that Ron Howard seduced her with his ginger fingers and tales of talking pies.
Beautiful.
