I thought I had more time
Yesterday, Baby Trousers took a cook book from the shelf in the kitchen and sat down in the sitting room to have a look. I went with her.
“What’s this?” she enquired.
“It’s a recipe book that tells you how to cook things,” I said.
“Why?” she asked. She’s still in the why-stage. Inquisitive little thing. Too damn inquisitive as I soon found out.
“Well, if you don’t know how to cook something, you can look in here.”
“Did you get it when I was a baby?”
“Before that, I think,” I said.
“Did you get it when I was in mammy’s belly?”
“Maybe even before that”
“Did you help put me in mammy’s belly?”
Oh shit. Where did that come from? “Errrrm. In a manner of speaking,” I told her.
“How did I get in mammy’s belly, dad?”
Arrrggghhh! Shit, shit, shit. Emergency, emergency. She’s three, for Christ’s sake. I thought I had another few years at least. What can you do?
“Let’s go get a chocolate biscuit,” I said. I’m not sure how much time I’ve bought.
Chocolate biscuits are only a stopgap, but I reckon you’ll get a few years stopgapping out of them. Good luck.
Comment by Yosser Hughes — Tuesday January 22, 2008 @ 11:38
Yep, don’t fret. Choccy biccies for another 6 months and then you should steer her towards children’s TV programs some more, and that should buy you another two years if you’re lucky.
After that, you’re on your own.
Comment by Istvanski — Tuesday January 22, 2008 @ 12:23
Gahhh! Dammit. They grow up so fast, the little shits.
Comment by Trousers — Tuesday January 22, 2008 @ 15:45
Tell her mummy ate her.
Comment by clarissa — Tuesday January 22, 2008 @ 20:45
Do you think that’d work, Clarissa? It seems a bit frightening to me. I want to get her off the subject, not terrify her. Or, maybe that’s a good idea. Toughen her up. Maybe, I should sneak into her room at night wearing a scary clown-mask.
Comment by Trousers — Wednesday January 23, 2008 @ 9:41