Jimmy Page’s Trousers

As my last month of leave beckons, I will steadily find myself growing more and more angry and despairing. This I know. This I welcome as I wouldn’t wish to return to the spirit-crushing drudgery of Perdition Inc. in a good mood. That would just be asking for trouble.

I have enjoyed my time off enormously and have gained sufficient experience to back up my, already strongly held, belief that the nine-to-five working day is not a healthy state for man. Well, this man anyway. Maybe there are those that fall into it like a comforting embrace and wallow there, contented. Perhaps they wear a slight smile, dribble trailing from one corner, as they go about their working life. Not me. I am destined for greater things and it’s going to be much harder to achieve them while trudging around in a nine-to-five.

Others, however, seem to have different ideas on my imminent greatness. My more attentive reader will remember that I sent a sitcom script, complete with its requisite treatments and the like, to a well-known UK production company. In their wisdom, they have declined to take it further. I’m actually ok with this. You see, I too have wisdom, and I had resolved not to worry excessively should it be rejected. They were my first choice but I am now free to try peddle it to others. Needless to say, I am not being completely sanguine about this rejection however, and have begun sending jiffy-bags full of faeces to said production company on a daily basis (or whenever I can manage it - I am fairly regular though).

A friend in the comedy game has kindly read my scripts and suggested one or two tweaks. As, in the main, these make sense I will make some modifications to my work in the next week or two and try to hawk them elsewhere. I haven’t been sitting on my hands however. I have almost two new scripts for another sitcom idea (what a fecund little bee I am, if you don’t mind the muddled metaphor). I’ll whore these around a few places here in my native land as they’re quite specific to Ireland.

Much of this will have to wait however as I am about to embark on some adventures in DIY. New kitchen arriving early next week. I’ll turn my hand to fitting that as I’m a bit of a Renaissance man. A proper builder bloke will be coming on Monday to knock down the dividing wall between my kitchen and dining room. That job’s one for the big boys but I’ll redeem my DIY pride by laying a new floor (some nice wooden stuff and tiles in the kitchen). Combined with painting, new sockets, tiling and such, I’m going to have my hands full over the next fortnight.

I bet Ben Elton never had to fit his own kitchen, and look what he’s made of himself. Oh, wait…