Jimmy Page’s Trousers

That’s me, that is. Well, only when it comes to blogging to be fair. I’ve been beavering away at my little sideline work for the last while. I don’t want to go into too much detail for it is specialised enough to threaten my hard-kept anonymity. I have enough reporters and P.I.s trying to figure out the riddle: who is Jimmy Page’s Trousers. No point in giving out clues.

Suffice it to say, demand for one of the many talents to which I can lay claim is picking up and the old word-of-mouth thing seems to be doing its job sufficiently for me to be kept reasonably busy in the practice of that talent.

That, combined with the fact that I have actually continued writing, has meant that I’ve been busy with things, far more important things, besides this blog. Should that upset my loyal, regular readers, who I understand, now number into the double figures at the busy times, I’m deeply sorry. At least until I actually sell a story and make a wodge of cash. Then I won’t give a toss.

I’ve submitted a, erm, submission to a production company. It’s an extract from an episode of the sit-com I’m working on. I am sure I will never hear anything about it again but I figured it was worth a punt. I’ll also whore it around some others but, for now, I’m leaving it at one company as they would be my first choice to work with. That said, if anyone reading this works for a production company, that’s probably the one I mean and, if you haven’t actually got my script, it’s obviously some sort of postal thing. Let me know and I’ll pass it on. All the other production companies are wankers. Really.

I should also state that, as not returning to the hellish drudgery of my day job hinges on my actually selling this thing, I am willing to go a long way to secure that deal. I don’t know if there is a writer’s equivalent of a casting couch but, if so, consider me bent over it. I’ll take a bumming if it means a commission. I’ve been practising relaxing my anal sphincters but, as I believe that the inner one is involuntary, I’m at a loss as to how to manage this. My anus, stubbornly, remains a one-way system.  I’m worried that this will affect the decision of any commissioning editor.  I would ask for advice but I fear the responses.