Jimmy Page’s Trousers

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve recently started a new job. As well as the usual tribulations that accompany this sort of move (determining where I can get a nice danish and whether the canteen serves a decent rasher for my Friday breakfast treat), there is the usual ‘getting to know you’ phase where I’m forced to interact with people that, given the choice, I probably wouldn’t want to hang out with. While some of these people seem less moderately annoying than others, one has so far distanced himself from the herd by being the first, and strongest, contender for the role of alpha-tosser. He alternates between very dull and pretty dull and, as many of his ilk do, has an impressive array of peculiarities.

Today however, I’d like to discuss an odd Instant Messaging idiosyncrasy of his however.

Now, my desk is pretty close to his. He sits directly behind me and if I swiveled my swivel chair through 180 degrees, I could touch him without unduly straining my good reaching arm. The other day, I was waiting for him to finish with something so that I could do some work on it. I looked over my shoulder and asked “could you let me know when you’re finished with that?”. He said “Sure”. All good so far. A few minutes later, my Instant Message client popped up with a message from him reading “I’m finished”. Huh? I looked over my shoulder again to see if he’d sneaked off to some remote location that might explain the necessity for an IM. Nope. He was still sitting there within arm’s reach. “Odd”, I thought but, being new around here and all, I decided to give the benefit of doubt. I (verbally) expressed my thanks and went about my business.

A day later however, my IM client popped up again with a message from alpha-tosser, still seated directly behind me. It read “Have you got a sec?”. He’s right there! Why is he using IM? Why go to the trouble of opening the client, finding my name in the list, clicking the chat button and typing “Have you got a sec?”. After I did a double take, rolled my eyes and thought “tosser”, I said “Yep”. He then told me what he wanted verbally, without moving from his desk, because that’s how fucking close he is.

What’s the story? Is this going to continue? Why do it at all? I’m at a loss. Next time he does it, should I ignore it and pretend I’m away from my desk?

Some people.